Shortly before Mom was diagnosed with cancer, I accepted a teaching job in a town about 60 miles from where my parents lived. I love the job and I love the district. While my mom was sick, I could drive home on weekends to help my dad and spend time with my mom. Things changed after she died.
When Dad was diagnosed, he didn't have my mom to be there like he was for her. My sister and her husband decided to move closer (they live about 7 miles from my dad) in order to be able to help out. However, people automatically assumed that I, the youngest child and single, would quit my job and move in with my dad to help take care of him. When I would tell these people that I wasn't doing that, I received no small amount of judgement.
Dad and I discussed it shortly after his diagnosis. He agreed that I needed to stay in a job I loved with administrators who support and advocate for me (unlike a previous position I held elsewhere) and that he'd like to be independent as long as possible. Plus I've lived with him on several occasions as an adult and we both agreed we'd probably kill each other.
Fast forward a year and a half and he can no longer walk and needs a caregiver. The one he's had informed him today that he's starting a new job on Monday and will no longer be able to help him out. I feel helpless and I feel guilty. Should I have done what everyone thought and put my life on hold to take care of him?
No comments:
Post a Comment